You are out of college and hunting for jobs. You studied art history but you are beginning to suspect that was a mistake. You’re searching at galleries, museums, dealers, etc. Half the places offer internships for no pay, and the other half don’t seem to be hiring. You find a listing posted on a job site for an artist’s helper. The listing is looking for someone with an art background to “help in the workshop” of a “famous artist” in “lower Manhattan.” The listing does not reveal the name of the artist, but you’re hoping it’s Chuck Close. You email the listing and fifteen minutes later get a reply with an interview time and an address in Soho. You’ve got on a sharp looking dress and you’ve brought three copies of your resume. You are still learning the subways and have to ask someone which way is south once you exit the train at Lafayette; the dot on your phone is being difficult. The address of the building is 453 Broadway. You search and search but can’t find the entrance to the building. You find 459, 455, and 451. You email the listing again to ask for more specific directions. You wait thirty minutes with no reply. Eventually you give up and send another email to say you’re very sorry but you can’t find the door, and would you be able to interview another time? You never hear back. The next time you check, the listing is gone and three months later, running low on money, you take a job in advertising.
#
You meet someone at the company party named Terry. Your agency is large; you’ve never seen him before. He looks put together without seeming vain. You talk to each other on the outdoor balcony area of the event space. He’s holding a glass of whiskey and you have chardonnay. You’re often both laughing at the same time. You talk to each other for longer than is professionally expected. When the party is wrapping up, you hold his gaze as if to say, “seek me out.” The next day you tell your colleague about the connection and ask if she knows him. She doesn’t know anyone named Terry. She googles him, but without a last name she doesn’t find much. Finally, your resourceful work friend asks reception to enter someone into security. “He’s from another office, but I’m not sure his last name,” she says. “Terry something…” The receptionist says Terry McAllen is the only Terry on the internal list. When you look him up, it’s the wrong person. You’re hoping you’ll see him in the office somewhere, but you never do, and three months later you begin dating a man you meet online named Francis.
#
You’re arriving at your hotel for a relaxing vacation with your boyfriend, Francis. You’ve been together for six months and it’s been going very well. The two of you have a comfortable routine. He puts you at ease. This is your first vacation together as a couple. You’re in St. Kitts. He loves lying on the beach and you love to read in the shade. You’re looking forward to relaxing together. You’re in line to check in. Judging from the lobby, it seems like you got a great deal on a very nice hotel. There are fancy families coming and going. The art is better than normal. There’s a marble stand with a fruit bowl on top. You step forward and say, “My partner and I are checking in,” You turn around to gesture at your boyfriend, but he’s not there. You turn back around and neither is the desk clerk. Now that you’re taking a closer look, the lobby is gone, too. You’re in a dimensionless white void. The only thing remaining is the stand with the fruit bowl on top. You stand around waiting for things to reappear, but after a few moments, nothing seems to have changed. So you sit down by the fruit bowl, close your eyes, and begin counting.